on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
