Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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