Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
