Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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