My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
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