VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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