best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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