No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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