it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
