i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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