Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Randomize
