Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
