break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
