Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
