Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
