The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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