They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I had to cum in my sink.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
