I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
