p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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