I heard we made out
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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