the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize