The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize