dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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