u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
