Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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