I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
