found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
