fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
