i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize