I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
