I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
