You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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