His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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