No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
