Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
