i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
