Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Randomize
