24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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