McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
