This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
