Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
