Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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