If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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