He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
