quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
