please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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