If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
