summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
