Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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