You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
