Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
