listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
