Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize