Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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