Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Randomize
