I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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