Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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